Death, divorce, and moving are the three most stressful experiences in life. There are two very different kinds of needs that people have while moving. First, there are the transactional needs, like finding the home that is just right for you, finding a seller who is realistic, negotiating the price, filling out the paperwork, handling the escrow, and arranging for the move. But there are also emotional needs that are involved when moving, and this is where the biggest stress comes in. Any competent agent will handle the transactional needs for you, but if your emotional needs are unfulfilled, you'll be frustrated and may not act in your own best interests. The ideal real estate agent is one who is competent with paperwork and numbers, but can also guide, direct, and counsel you through the emotional ups and downs of moving. Here are the six best ways I have found to beat a big part of the stress.

Begin with the end in mind. Have an ultimate scenario of where you're trying to be. What will life be like when you get there? How will it be better than where you are now? Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill up at least a page about how it feels in the new place. This is imperative. Having the goal in front of you at all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and frustrations that can be inherent with a move. Emotions will run high and you need an anchor. In childbirth, the Lamaze method teaches you to focus on one spot when enduring labor pains. In the Bible it says that Jesus willingly went to the cross by focusing on the joy He would have when it was over. In the same way, you too must focus on that future goal when anxiety threatens to get the better of you.

Be flexible. In your monetary calculations, overestimate by at least a thousand dollars. In this market, anything can happen between contract acceptance and closing. It could be the inspections reveal areas of concern that the seller is unwilling to fix or the repair costs are higher than you have allotted to do yourself after closing, or the interest rate changes which affects the necessary down payment and closing costs you will need to come up with. As your real estate agent and representative, I will strive to tie up loose ends as quickly as possible, but please remember that we do not live in a perfect world. Most buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking on a new mortgage and the responsibilities of a new home and I have seen many buyers get angry when it seems like the cost just keeps going up. Anger is caused when reality doesn't match up with the expectations you had in your mind. So if you anticipate this happening in advance, you won't get angry. In fact, it'll probably go better than you expected.

Trust in the process. There is always so much to do that it's easy to panic. You wonder if things will ever work out. You think you're taking a big chance, but the truth is you're giving yourself a big chance and opportunity. Even though you can't see every step of the way as you move towards your goals, the way opens up. Perhaps you haven't moved in a long time, or you move frequently -- either way, it's a major upheaval in your life. As a veteran agent, I have experienced personally and of course with all of my clients this process many times before, and I will do all that I can do to look out for you when you hire me to be your representative.

Get knowledge. One thing you'll probably feel during this transition time is feeling like you're out of control. It feels like everyone and everything have taken over your life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser, the inspectors -- they all seem to have the power to say yes or no to your moving plans. I'll do my best to provide you with the knowledge, skills and other resources you will need to make the best decisions for you and your life so that you will feel comfortable and confident in your buying experience.

What is your option? When things don't go as smoothly as you had hoped, don't let emotions take over. Always ask yourself "What is my option?" because there are always options -- there are always choices you can make. Pretend the lender takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps asking you for more and more documentation until if feels like he also needs to know how many hairs are on your head! You'll feel upset because you wanted to feel certain about the move at the beginning of the process and now you still have to live with the uncertainties they cause you to feel. You want to say "Forget it, I'm fed up with this!" But what is your option? Find a new lender and start the process over again? That may take weeks, plus you will have to provide all the paperwork over again. If the lender is trying his best, it may be better to give him a few more days. Each case is unique, but when setbacks occur, you should step back and review your options and by choosing another option, how that will affect the immediate future circumstances.

Seek entertainment and relief. When there's nothing you can do about the situation, take your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on Friday, but now it won't come until Monday. You hate being in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something else entirely, maybe something where you aren't powerless. Take a hike, read a book, play tennis, get out of town for a day, watch a movie, pray, or pour yourself into your work. Find other things to do to take your mind off of things you have no immediate control over -- time. Whatever diversion works best for you, now would be a good time to engage in it. Just forget the situation and refuse to listen to those irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think about something else instead and just take it one day at a time.